Monday, November 12, 2012

Something New

My normal methods for creation usually end up leading me to a small notebook that I keep each year.

It's not something I always share though there have been times lately that I have. I'm rather quiet about it, I'm way secretive about it and some processes were not ever meant to be shared. That's ok, I don't need them all to be.

But lately my inclination has been to create something bigger...something that would hang on a wall somewhere and be seen. It's funny because it's something I'm ridiculously shy about. There are pencil sketches that have hung proudly on a wall in my Namaws house for years now that I made from the time I was 15...yet I would never consider what I do "art" and I question anyone elses acceptance of it. I'm often shocked, even though I know I'm creative, that anyone else would like what I make.

But through some gentle pushing, I made this last week:

And even handing it to the person it was made for had me scared to death that he'd hate it (even though logically, I knew it wouldn't happen).

Now another friend has asked when they will be sold. *gulp*

Insert self doubt, mix liberally with past failure to create something and make anything of it, add a dash of worse case scenario syndrome, subtract the fear of it becoming less than what I need it to be...and you end up with me in an incredibly self deprecating mode of thinking.

Of course Ill keep creating anyway. But for now, I'm just going to turn what I make over to someone else..let them deal with the marketing side of it. I'll just keep making things.

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