Spousal Quips

The Husband person likes to think he's funny. Truth is, he is. Most of the time I spend laughing with him at the crazy stuff that comes out of his mouth (and there's a lot of it!). So this weekend while in the mountains, we kept a list of (most of) the crazy things that were said...well..at least the more appropriate ones.

• (reading instructions to cabin) Oh good there's a security gate. It will keep the bears out. 
• (Upon seeing said gate) Wait...bears can go UNDER and AROUND that gate. What the hell good does that do? (Me: The bears are hibernating..it's winter. There are no bears.)
• Southern Wedding check list: Beer, Bait & cheap ass wine.
• Him: If I leave I'm writing you a John Deere letter.  Me: I think you mean a Dear John Letter. Him: no, I mean John Deere Letter...I'm southern now. 
• Oh no, we don't stop there. They don't just have banjo's, that's where they sell the banjos!
• We can't stay long at the scenic outlook. The banjo guys may steal the truck. 
• (about our eldest munchkin) The angry birds make her angry...why can't we have calm birds?
• Stupid 200 thread count sheets..see! I told you we were camping!
• I support the youth ministries as long as it's not a cult or something. 
• (said about my dad who is technology challenged) He'll come over and say "I bet we can find that on the internet" and I want to say "Go ahead..google..I dare you."
• (Watching The Voice) OMG it's Cee Lo and his big fluffy cat!
• Me: That's not a bar, it's an auction house. Him: What do they auction there? Me: Banjos. 
• (To the massage lady) Yeah, I keep looking for bears. Her: Oh they are everywhere up here! Him (to me of course!) SEEEE!!
• (Upon hearing gun shots at 9pm at night) Oh great..bears..someone is getting attacked by bears right now and we have no cell phone service and cant call out on the land line.  
• There are no fish in this fishing pond. Why do they call it a fishing pond if there are no fish? It's a fishing pond not a catching pond. 
• We could walk to the inn for breakfast. (It was up/down a mountain & 20 degrees outside)
• We're old...it's 8pm, we're vacation and ready for sleep. 
• It said "fireside dinner" but I didn't realize they meant we had to COOK it near OUR fireside!
• 7:30 am on Sunday...he's up, dressed and packing the truck. 
• Me upon crossing the AL line: Welcome Home! Him: OMG I have NEVER been so happy to be headed back to a farm in AL. 
• We had banjo guys and bears...if we had Uncle Remus we would have had a musical!

Much love,
 Gayla