Something New

My normal methods for creation usually end up leading me to a small notebook that I keep each year.

It's not something I always share though there have been times lately that I have. I'm rather quiet about it, I'm way secretive about it and some processes were not ever meant to be shared. That's ok, I don't need them all to be.

But lately my inclination has been to create something bigger...something that would hang on a wall somewhere and be seen. It's funny because it's something I'm ridiculously shy about. There are pencil sketches that have hung proudly on a wall in my Namaws house for years now that I made from the time I was 15...yet I would never consider what I do "art" and I question anyone elses acceptance of it. I'm often shocked, even though I know I'm creative, that anyone else would like what I make.

But through some gentle pushing, I made this last week:

And even handing it to the person it was made for had me scared to death that he'd hate it (even though logically, I knew it wouldn't happen).

Now another friend has asked when they will be sold. *gulp*

Insert self doubt, mix liberally with past failure to create something and make anything of it, add a dash of worse case scenario syndrome, subtract the fear of it becoming less than what I need it to be...and you end up with me in an incredibly self deprecating mode of thinking.

Of course Ill keep creating anyway. But for now, I'm just going to turn what I make over to someone else..let them deal with the marketing side of it. I'll just keep making things.

Thankfulness Day 6

Day 6!
6. I'm grateful for the right to vote, the ability to do so, and the knowledge to understand why it matters.

1. I'm thankful that I have a job that while it pays the bills and puts food on the table, I can leave it at work when i go home for the day. I can handle high stress situations at work but when all is said and done, it's a job for me and I need to not let it fall over into the rest of my life. Work is for work.

2. Today I'm grateful for a full night of sleep that I actually rested in. I was put on a Cpap machine a week ago today and last night was the first time I actually slept through the night with it on. I am hoping that it makes a continual difference in my sleep patterns so that I have more energy and a better quality of life.

3. I'm thankful for a compliment that someone gave me a compliment today that truly touched me. We went to a retreat to teach a class for a group and he told me that their entire retreat was modeled after the ones I used to do for my own group. It meant a lot to me that we recognized what I had contributed and thought enough of it to use the example for them as well. 

4. I'm thankful for my parents and the hard work that they do. We spent the morning cleaning out the shed then pitched in to help them work on tearing down an old building on the property. 

5. Im grateful for clean water to drink. I drink a lot of water through the day and some days it's the only healthy thing I do for myself. I'm glad that I have clean, cold water and access to it on a daily basis. Not everyone is so lucky. 

Thankfulness

Continuing on!

1. I'm thankful that I have a job that while it pays the bills and puts food on the table, I can leave it at work when i go home for the day. I can handle high stress situations at work but when all is said and done, it's a job for me and I need to not let it fall over into the rest of my life. Work is for work.

2. Today I'm grateful for a full night of sleep that I actually rested in. I was put on a Cpap machine a week ago today and last night was the first time I actually slept through the night with it on. I am hoping that it makes a continual difference in my sleep patterns so that I have more energy and a better quality of life.

3. I'm thankful for a compliment that someone gave me a compliment today that truly touched me. We went to a retreat to teach a class for a group and he told me that their entire retreat was modeled after the ones I used to do for my own group. It meant a lot to me that we recognized what I had contributed and thought enough of it to use the example for them as well. 

4. I'm thankful for my parents and the hard work that they do. We spent the morning cleaning out the shed then pitched in to help them work on tearing down an old building on the property. 

5. Im grateful for clean water to drink. I drink a lot of water through the day and some days it's the only healthy thing I do for myself. I'm glad that I have clean, cold water and access to it on a daily basis. Not everyone is so lucky. 

Thankfulness

I'm going to attempt to write something I'm thankful for each day this month. Of course, I'm already a day behind because that's just how I roll. SO! Here's yesterday and todays...

1. I'm thankful that I have a job that while it pays the bills and puts food on the table, I can leave it at work when i go home for the day. I can handle high stress situations at work but when all is said and done, it's a job for me and I need to not let it fall over into the rest of my life. Work is for work.

2. Today I'm grateful for a full night of sleep that I actually rested in. I was put on a Cpap machine a week ago today and last night was the first time I actually slept through the night with it on. I am hoping that it makes a continual difference in my sleep patterns so that I have more energy and a better quality of life.

Stay tuned for more!